Time passages

I used to dream of being a writer - fun, witty and churning out books like it was a piece of cake.  I used to think I was a good writer.  Now a days I dream of writing books that will be somewhat inspirational and funny and life changing.  I guess when I grow up I want to go on tour with Women of Faith.  High and lofty expectations I think.  Now a days I just wish I could write a decent blog.  

Recently Morgan and I brought a sweet little kitten (okay make it crazed) into our lives named Star.  Oh the scars!!!!!!!  She runs around the house and jumps in the air as high as her little body will let her.  She can be sooo crazy, feisty and sweet.  She is a purring machine and it's sweet when she curls her little body up on one of my shoulders and just purrs away. 

Her actions remind me of my struggle with life someitmes.  Life can be so grand that I just purr, I mean ooze happiness and contentment especially when my walk brings me closer to God.  When I let my faith stand firm then I can weather anything!!!!  There are days and times when I stumble and my life takes on a crazed pattern, struggling to make it through the day - running here and there not knowing where to settle or who to turn to.  On those days I truly do stand with my head hanging down, sad and defeated.  Why?  I lost sight of where I am supposed to stand firm and strong in my faith,  Of course there will be days when I falter but I can always turn to God for my strength. 

The changes this year have wrought have been frustrating and full of struggle.  I still am not sure where I stand in this new journey and I struggle with how I should be.  Am I a good enough mom, am I a strong enough Christian?  Can I be all that God wants and needs me to be.